drifting on the tandem and kryptonite

First off - I apologize, this is a big one today. Not sure what happened, just turned out this way.

Yesterday my family and part of my bike team went and did the ColaVita Time Trial bike race in Bellbrook. We were met there by Alix, Aaron and Karey. A time trial is where they have a 10 mile road course, and you leave the starting line at a certain time (on your own) and race the course as fast as you can. Each person leaves at 30 second intervals. So if you are faster, or slower - you will pass or get passed during the race. You constantly see other riders on the course. Even get to roll out of the start house in the beginning. Freddy and I raced on our family tandem. It is a older Trek with fenders and a rack on the back. We looked funny wearing our aero helmets on a bike looking like we were going on a picnic...lol. Anyway, Freddy and I had only ridden this so far this year while pulling Jenna in her trailer. This was the first attempt without, and it was a race. Freddy always has this thing that he does while riding it, he tells me if we need the turbo let him know and he pushes extra hard. I told him before we started the whole ride was a turbo ride...lol. We hustled into the start house and jumped on and got launched out... we were on our way.  We rolled down the road at 20-22 mph, I was impressed. The trailer really must slow us down, but it was early - so we shall see. About 1 1/2 miles in there was a left turn on to a new road. There were course marshalls out there for traffic control, and orange cones up to prevent the cutting of corners. Freddy and I were still rolling along really well here. A little too well. The left turn was slightly down hill, and with the crown in the road it almost felt like as we went through the corner we were going to over shoot it. I grabbed the rear brake and then it happened. The back wheel locked up. The rear end started sliding around, we were now drifting through the corner. I let go - but we had already slid almost 5-6 feet sideways. Freddy was freaked out. I had to act like it was no big thing to calm him. Just focus on pedaling. We kept going... he kept asking now about corners coming up. We were told at over 4 miles in there was a corner where a German Sheppard was chained up but still able to get out on the road, we had to look out for.... I got him focused on that for now. Next we are riding along and Aaron D came flying past us, told us to keep it up. Next thing I know I feel the pedals kicking harder... so I pedal harder too... we roll back up on Aaron on the next little hill and I yell at him... "hey why you slowing down, you need to go faster!" Ha... then we started to fade... hills on a tandem are not friendly. We settled in and kept going. Next we got to the dog... I saw the corner ahead of time and swung it out wide.. that dog did come out on the road pretty far but we cleared it fine. We were rolling along pretty well now. More than half way in and most of the climbing done - now mostly downhill. We passed I think about 4-5 riders. Freddy liked that. We also have a mirror on the bike, he was able to tell me when faster guys were coming. Freddy still a little freaked out warned me that we are not allowed to go over 30mph... now I wish I didn't put a speedometer back there for him. We came to the last big downhill. We coasted all the way down... still hit 33mph riding the brakes... I told him we were fine. We ended up rolling down the hill and to the finish. 29:33 was our time. Really good for a hilly course and our first time. I was so proud to share the top of the podium with him after the race.

Today I weigh 190 pounds... I have been hovering here for a bit. I hit 189 a while back then slacked off and went up to 193..... well I have been working again and I'm back on my way down. It is easy to get off course.  I have found that once I start eating junk food, it never satisfies me, I just want more and more. But I also have noticed if I eat more natural foods (less processed) - I am less hungry and they are better for me. Switching my snacks to baby carrots, celery, apples, grapes, etc.... I find I eat less and feel better and I am satisfied.  Crazy you know... who would have thought a vegetable or fruit would be better for you than chips, oatmeal cream pies, or ice cream....lol. It's not like I cannot eat them, just not as much. I have a problem with portion control and gluttony.  I like to eat a lot, and I will eat it until I am full.... to the point of I not eating anymore. 

I have a sweet tooth. I love candy candy, not chocolate. Sweet tarts, jelly beans, sour patch kids, zotz, Mike & Ikes, etc... I could go on but my mouth is watering. This is my kryptonite. Once I start it is so hard to stop.

I had weird moment this weekend - my niece's birthday party. Her cake... it had butter cream icing. Oh my gosh... heavenly. I could have just scrapped the cake clean of all the icing. I only eat the cake to have that buttery goodness it is decorated it.... I LOVE BUTTER ICING.  I had 2 small pieces instead of one piece plus ice cream. I ate it and it was just so good I wanted more. I lurked the kitchen, I lurked in the dining room, and even they hallway carrying my empty plate (I had to look like a deranged psycho stalking his prey) trying to justify in my mind that one more piece was ok.... yeah I know it is, it won't kill me, but the old Fred who weighed 230lbs would have done it. I don't want to be him again. Once I realized that, I threw away my plate. I felt better. Then I realized that Jenna hadn't finished hers yet... and I ended up lurking there and when she got up I threw her plate away for her, but first I finished her bite of cake...lol. Now I know that one piece isn't going to change me... but my problem is the justifying of it in my mind opens too many doors to the road of 230lb Fred again. I like being thinner. Besides the health benefits and being here for my family longer.... the feeling of clothes fitting better.... the feeling of not worrying about taking my shirt off.... the feeling of not looking like a peanut M&M in lycra bike clothes - they are all worth much more to me than the instant pleasure of that one extra piece of cake.  Besides who said you are supposed to eat more than one piece, one piece is plenty.  I know I am focusing on the cake, but it is more the icing.... the sweets. KRYPTONITE! I can see how peoples addictions get out of control. It is that powerful to me. 

Update on my warranty on the PrincetonTec light - the new one showed up in the mail on Saturday... they just replaced it. Took a phone call to check on it to get it moving - but they replaced it.

I want to thank everyone reading this. I may get off on tangents and rant about things, but please don't take me seriously. I think my blog is turning in to kind of a therapy for me. Food therapy. I know that indulgences in things are not bad, it is just when you cannot control them. Sweets are my problem. It's not a calorie thing... it is just a sweet, sugary, buttery heaven, and unfortunately it is one avenue that got me to the point I was at when I was bigger. This is my struggle. Thank you for all the SUPPORT from my friends. It does help to hear I am not alone, and everyone struggles. Thank you!